Dale, Jr.

CCL has an intense love for Dale Earnhardt, Jr. (and most things NASCAR--to the point she even has decorated her purple Christmas tree with NASCAR and M&M ornaments, complete with black feather boas; though I've never seen it in person, it sounds absolutely delightful).  So, it should come as no surprise that she often refers to him in her conversations--working him in wherever possible.  Today's example:

I was charting bill rates for a proposal (requiring much concentration) when she pounced so unexpectedly that I almost screamed.  (I wasn't facing my computer monitor, so I didn't see her in the mirror.)  And then she said, "My goal is to marry well.  I don't think it's going to happen, but that's my goal.  I just need Dale, Jr. to fall madly in love with me.  Maybe if I break his ankles and lock him in a basement room so I can spend lots of time with him, he'd come to realize how wonderful I am and he'd want to stay on his own.  But, aside from that, I doubt I'll marry well."  My whole thing, besides pointing out the creepy fact she went into detail as to how she'd capture her marital prey, is that she first needs to go on a date. 

She continually talks about some guy she dated in college & how he wore plaid boxers that hung over the top of his pants, but that she never saw him in just those because she broke up with him when he wanted to sleep with her (a visual I'd rather not imagine).  It sounds like it was a bliss-filled romance that lasted about a month & then he started dating a girl in the dorm room next to her.  (Man-whore, he-slut.) She found him on Facebook not too long ago and has spent the last few months trying to figure out if a woman in some of his photos is his mom or his girlfriend.  (I suggested a novel idea: write and ask in a round-about way.  She'd rather stalk.)  On several occasions, she has indicated that he was the last person she went on a date with.  She's now 35 or 36 (I forget which--I think 35) and since she's not spent any time since college hanging out with friends, it makes it quite difficult for her to meet anyone to date in the first place.  Tonight's plans, for instance, are to go to her parents' for dinner, but not before first feeding the cats their "fancy food" (i.e., canned food)...it's not exactly conducive to finding that long-term relationship.  Particularly with Dale, Jr.